The Freedom to be a low, nasty deadshit

It’s absolutely no surprise to me that 4,873,987 (or 38.4%) Australian voted against same sex marriage.  By my reckoning that’s about the number of stupid, ignorant dead shits that we unfortunately have deal with in our daily lives.

For example. Consider yourself at someone’s wedding that you have been invited to purely out of obligation because you once went to school with someone’s parents.  You sit down at your designated table and introductions are made.  Already the bloke in the bright blue suit shits you. He tells you he has his own accountancy firm.  Weaving this fact into “this show is costing someone a pretty penny”. His over-painted and pearled partner supports him by saying “Tony knows what these things cost.” I want them both boiled down into candles.

There’s another wanker, wide and cocksure, who leans back in his seat and says “Dry argument.” Winking like a fat lighthouse he drones on about how much he had to drink last night. And these dopes are not alone. There are plenty of other dimwits at the table to make it a fair conga line of dull, unaware wind farmers. And that’s your 38%. They’re the ones that want to waddle backwards to the 1950s, wearing their bone cardigans.  They want us all to live in a safe, smug, shit hole that John Winston Howard crawled out of to piss on every progressive idea around.

And these are the same dull, stupid people who want to enshrine alleged ‘religious freedom’ into the same sex legislation. This apparently boils down to four main areas of concern.

1. The right to refuse same sex couples a religious marriage ceremony. Apparently this is because their gracious and compassionate god and the scriptures told them to treat anyone, who has the temerity to declare as batting for the same side, like a lump of dog shit.

2. Butcher, Baker/Candle Stick Maker and Florist may be forced to actually serve a same sex couple against their religious convictions. I think that was covered nicely in Leviticus 18.22. But does this mean your stock standard sugar craving married queer cannot get a cream bun anymore?

3. Their offspring may be told in school that’s it is terribly wrong to discriminate against anyone because of their sexuality.  Does the concept of ‘unchristian’ come in here? Nah – fuck them, teach the little nippers to have a deeper understanding of real difference and discrimination.

4. Churches will eventually have to allow blokes to marry pigs. (Leviticus 18:23 – sometimes known as the Corey Barnyard Principle)

Now I think all this is a slight overreaction. We know that organised religion is in trouble. The recent Census stats showed that only a handful are bothering to turn up and listen to some loner with no real world experience blather on about fuck all.  We also know that the interpreters of god’s word on this planet are being locked up at an alarming rate – so much so that most Australian churches are now full of mumbling, well-meaning characters from Mumbai and Manilla.

To me this whole religious freedom stuff is simply a marketing ploy from a failing brand so desperate to rally the ragged and depleted faithful for one more go before the bloody lions get them.   But let’s not allow the rooters for religion get a toe-hold.  When any dull, christian starts to rabbit on about religious ‘freedom’ just refer them to this site – and tell them there are some cracker christian yarns in there, some even better than the water into wine one.




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