I’ll be buggered if I’d go to a private school

An old journalist and scoundrel, Ronnie the Wheel, once told me in Melbourne that if you were capable of rational thought you would lean to the left side of the world.  Ronnie was correct yet still some people who can tie up their own shoelaces and wipe away dribble quickly can viciously cling to notions that are so unhinged and irrational it defies belief.  Then again belief over rational thought is perhaps the issue here.

The idea that private enterprise could provide better and seamless delivery of services to the masses over a lumbering public sector has held true, for most, since the 1980s. Whether, in this country, it was an overreaction to the Whitlam policy juggernaut that swept aside the post-war torpor of conservative back to wall politics or just simply catch-up.  It’s hard to know what motivated the accelerated attempt to sharpen the pencil without proper consideration.

But being a conservative in the 70s in Australia must have been like living on a diet of devon and dog shit. No one wanted hear you or to be near you. You allowed your hair to grow slightly over the collar but you stayed indoors after dark.  You leaned towards Jesus Christ and loved John Denver.  You were generally without deep thought and you never saw “Deep Throat”.  It wasn’t your time.  You had to stay in the shadows until it was.

At this time, if you were a bloke from the middle and upper class your feckless parents sent you to places such as St John’s College in Sydney or to Robb College in Armidale for a tertiary education.  But it was only a holding pattern.  Learning wasn’t your thing. It was purely a social experiment.  There you skirted around the sidelines, played rugby, hated poofs and drank rum.  You found you were not alone.  At Sydney University Tony Abbott stalked the halls, threatening women and charging his conservative credentials. There were others here and at Bachelor and Spinsters Balls you could find equally gormless females to grope and fornicate with.  You despised and dismissed any criticisms of your conservative cocoon.  You looked after you own and bugger the rest. You carried this dislike for progressive ideas with you for the rest of your life.  It meant you didn’t have to ever think again.

Conservative times really came to NSW in the late 80s and 1990s when that low ferret, Nic ‘Otine’ Greiner* got hold of power.  This unprincipled weasel got rid of the public service graded bureaucrats.  He then crudely inserted the Senior Executive Service system in its place. It was a contract system.  You could be punted at the end of your contract.  It sounded sensible to those who found the public service inflexible and unyielding to political nuance.  They believed that a Departmental Head had to virtually expose his todger in Martin Place to get sacked. Unlike politicians who generally did it in their electoral offices and got promoted.  The end result of this virtual privatisation of the public service was to neuter it.  No longer did most departmental heads provide fearless advice.  They knew to survive they now had to firmly tether the public interest against the rampant political good. The sell-off of public utilities soon followed.

In schooling, generous federal and state subsidies saw the growth of private sector schools. In NSW public sector school numbers dropped 20% in two decades.  Conservative parents pushed their fruit of the loin into faith-based and elite private schools.  This guaranteed that their offspring would not be challenged to consider different ideas nor have to confront different people.  And by giving a smatter of scholarships to your odd pov but talented sportsperson and Indigenous kiddies private schools could assuage any semblance of christian guilt.  Parents smugly bored everyone who would listen that they paid more than their share to send their Katies and Keirans to St Bede’s of the Busted Arses.

Little did they care that the role of the local school as a core of the community and its values would decline.  Nor did they connect that the social dislocation they decried was part and parcel of the careless society that had partly created.    They didn’t want their precious mixing with the spotty herberts from public housing.  They wanted a safe, quality education that they had worked hard to provide – in fact they often mentioned the incredible sacrifice they had to make to send them “off to school”.  They wanted gymnasiums, buckets of sporting fields, drama theatres and string quartets.  They wanted to dress their kiddies up in stupid military outfits, tartan skirts and boater hats to show that they were very, very special children.  But most of all they didn’t want them to be different from the ideal conservative nonces that they had become.  A dose of safe Williamson at the Wharf and a bit of rugger was what everyone needed to become balance, conservative cunt.

Of course they got upset when they found clowns like the smug shit-head Timmy Hawkes and his kind allegedly failed their duty of care to their charges by reporting offences to the police.  Surely, they thought, $40,000 a year guranteed a kiddy-fiddler free zone?

And so now in the era of Neo-Nazis, $Trumpet and Abbott, the white breads continue to flock together to breed and prosper – it is their time and be damned if you are one of the poor bastards who think.


*Nic Greiner was chairman of the board of WD&HO Wills and then British American Tobacco Australia for the period 1996 to 2004.


Rabbid Abbott – Saviour, Psychopath or Simple Shirtlifter?

Within 24 hours of his statement that he was going shirt Putin,Tony Abbott has backed away from a blue by saying he was now going to have “a robust conversation, a very robust conversation”.  What a let down.  What a tool.  Another core promise broken.

I’d pay a bundle of bitcoins to see Rabbid Abbott attempted pantsing of Shootin’ Pootin and I bet most of you would too.

I could think of nothing better than these two having a round or two for a rouble or two.  A contest between two of the world leaders who love nothing better than to posture, poke and pan-handle politically.  They may not be the brightest surfing the world stage but they are certainly the most likely to drop duds and engage in physical pursuits.

It’s a promoter’s dream. If I was running the stink I’d stage it at Sea World during the G20.  I’d put a large chunk of ice from the Boondall Iceworld in the Shark Tank to create an iceberg effect.  I’d then have Rabbid and Poots coated in pig fat and lowered onto the berg to batter each other like two desperate, rutting stags.  The purse would be the automatic resignation of the loser from the leadership of their country.  Either way one country wins.

Predictably the usual suspects weighed in to support Rabbid. ‘Soups’ Newman, the tiny terrier premier of Queensland yapped his approval.  Obviously ‘Soups’ doesn’t have the frame to threaten Poots or anyone above twenty-four inches short so he has firmly placed himself behind the Big T.

“That is the thing about Tony Abbott, he has got the guts to do that and I would certainly welcome him making our feelings known to Mr Putin.”

Guts you say ‘Soups’.  Guts.  Is that what it is?  You know who showed guts in the last 24 hours you little toad?  It was not our alleged PM it was a Mr Paul Guard.

Who is Paul Guard?  Well Paul Guard lost both parent’s in the destruction of Flight MH17. In an amazing show of courage on last night’s 7.30 Report he showed why he is a young man to be deeply admired and why Tony Abbott is a disgrace and embarrassment to us all.  Paul Guard spoke clearly on a topic he could be excused for becoming highly emotional about. He said;

“It’s really plays into Putin’s hands in many ways if you were to ostracise him because he does tend to like to paint himself as a bulwark of Russian dominance standing up to the West, so, you know, it’s useful, I think, to engage him and to offer both incentives and potential sanctions, depending on Russia’s behaviour.”

“I don’t think there would be much achieved by uninviting him, not that Australia has that power anyway. But at the end of the day, dialogue is what’s needed and I think that dialogue is going to be useful at the G20 in terms of trying to send Russia a message that there are things Russia could be doing and should be doing to secure peace and to get to the bottom of what happened to MH17 as well.”

In absolute contrast Abbott’s statements and posturing are that of a person who is unable to come to grips with the subtleties of modern politics.  He struggles to form cogent arguments and simply states then restates slogans and grabs.

Paul Guard, like the others who lost family and friends, has been let down.  They all deserve to be represented in world politics by a person who is capable of expressing our national position on such matters with dignity and a higher level of thinking.  Sadly Rabbid Abbott appears to be incapable of both.



Stop the dopes! A raft of dunces sails on

As I swagger around the CBD Sydney streets looking for fat sunburnt Poms to taunt, with my Australian colours wrapped around my swollen gut and my post Ashes glow shining, I  do so with absolute impunity.   I am safe in the knowledge that the defender of good humour, Tim ‘Pee-wee’ Wilson, is going to look after blokes like me who just want to have a little fun at the expense of others.

Wilson was the policy director of the Institute of Public Affairs for the last seven years before George ‘Randy’ Brandis anointed him yesterday as ‘Defender of Japes and Insults’ or as it is known to others, Chief of the Human Rights Commission.  See for years you had this stupid Racial Discrimination Act that stopped you from having a good-natured dig at ethnic groups.  You know the stuff that appears in emails from people generally called Bob, who happen to choose to live in a caravan in Rockhampton or Karratha.  Bob’s missives are generally about Muslims or some other group that are responsible for everything that Bob and his mates simply cannot understand.

‘Randy’ Brandis who sadly doesn’t appear to have nuance or subtlety in his kick or live in a caravan is on a mission from a white god to get rid of Section 18c of the Racial Discrimination Act.  This divisive anti-jape bit is found in Part IIA :  Prohibition of offensive behaviour based on racial hatred, which makes it unlawful to publish material that offends or insults a person or group because ”of the race, colour or national or ethnic origin of the person or of some or all of the people in the group”.

In an act to protect and reward their Fourth Estate right-wing attack dogs, PM ‘Rabbit’ and ‘Randy’  will fulfill an election promise to introduce legislation to repeal a section of the Racial Discrimination Act that Andrew ‘Nuten’ Bolt was found guilty of breaching in 2011. It will change the definition of racial vilification in what the government says is a move towards restoring free speech laws to their full power.

‘Pee-wee’ Wilson claims on his website that he defends his alleged radical thought with fact – in fact he does the opposite.  In a breathlessly pompous piece on his website entitled, “Free speech does not discriminate”, facts are hard to find. He blithely assumes that everyone is like him, multi-degreed and doing ok in the lucky country.  Pee-wee argues for a free market of spurn and burn.

“But the solution is more speech, not less. We should preserve the right to speak out, mock them and ridicule them for the stupidity of their comments or the hate in their heart. And that also applies for incorrect statements. Free speech isn’t limited to factual accuracy. If it were, we’d never have a contest of ideas where ideas are proposed, exposed and corrected. The argument behind 18C is to afford some people higher legal standing than others for factors outside their control. It’s the antithesis of equality before the law.”

What ‘Pee-wee’ relies on is padded armchair theory.   This is white bread rhetoric from a man who conveniently believes that minority groups will be able to combat a wave of hate and stupidity with words.  They do not need legislative protection.  “Mock them” says Wilson.  What he is well aware of is that most of the groups he speaks of have little or no power and he now wants them to have less.

The problem here is the expected bad form of the Liberal right has in fact mirrored the Obedian behaviours of the Labor right in NSW. There is barely a struck match between these two in the shitawful stakes.   This is not about a Liberal government however – it is about privileged people using their power.

In reality, none of this would have happened if their good mate, ink blot ‘Nuten’ Bolt hadn’t got pinged under 18c of the Act.  Now it’s payback time for all of Rupe’s faithful scribes that so artfully picadored the flailing Labor beast.  So now  the Parrots, Prices and Nutens will have one of the last legislative hate hand brakes removed so they can now fearlessly peddle their ignorant, simplistic black and white slop without the contamination of fact.

The social engineering is beginning with the reduction of protection for the poor and miscellaneous miserable bastards, cuts to lower class welfare and the rooting of public and low socio-economic private sector education against a backdrop of dull and unimaginative policy reform based on repeal and repression.  This is the bunch that Lawson imagined in his “The Man from Ironbark” when he said, “their eyes were dull, their heads were flat – they had no brains at all.”

And so it goes as punitive policy bleeds this country of hope and tolerance this disgraceful bunch of dopes rope themselves together on their raft of right-wing ideology and head down their Ayn Rand gorge of wet dreams.