Category Archives: Crumb bums of the day

The Danny Weidler story – a scribbler or a dribbler?

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We can understand that the Fairfax Media‘s business model requires that they engage the “young, dumb and full of rum” galoots that tweet and toggle as FM’s rivers of gold dry up.  We did also understand that it was only a matter of time before fiscal expediency caused their online presence to become full of total tosh from beauty tips for the busy to shock horror celeb stories but we never expected Fairfax to recruit from the shallow end.

I understand that sports scribbler, Danny ‘Favours’ Weidler is an engaging and highly intelligent cove who loves nothing more than to sink a ‘Beam and cola’ while debating  the merits of coordinating conjunctions before moving onto the topic of Joyce’s “Ulysses” as a language destabiliser.  But in his writings poor ‘Favours’ is seriously not a weapon of mass instruction.

In an article on the SMH website on 17 February he wrote a syrup strip titled, “Sharks grill players for info on Dank.”(Sharkies Story)  Weidler is keen to point out at the beginning “The Sharks won’t say it but they are conducting the most thorough of investigations imaginable to find out exactly what controversial sports scientist Stephen Dank did at Cronulla for two months in 2011.”  That’s a nod and a wink reference as in “sources close to the club” and “I am reliably informed” blah. Weidler then goes on to document the “thorough” investigation which turns out was to simply sit down players who were there in 2011 and then get them to “confess all”. Well Danny, even though the “Sharks won’t say it”, I will.  Firstly that methodology doesn’t sound thorough to me – it sounds like a game of “Simple Simon” and secondly if the Sharks didn’t say it who did?

While never short on sources ‘Favours’ can go a touch florid at times in his stories, in one he describes a bit of lower grade gossip as “juicier than a body-building competition in the 1980s”.  But it’s not his purple prose that annoys true sports fans – it’s in his writing where he at times becomes a gushing apologist for heavily tattooed, lightly brained “sports people”.

Pithy homilies seemingly to please player managers and their spawn generally go like this, “Player manager Slippery is understandably upset at criticism of his client, Brutus who is the victim of a smear campaign after it was alleged by Bondi police that Brutus was caught with 25 stolen Ipads in the boot of his car.  Slippery claims that Brutus, a victim of circumstances, collected the Ipads in good faith, unaware they were “stolen”, for an upcoming charity auction.  Slippery said the auction had not been advertised because his client wanted to make sure that he had the goods first.  It seems everyone is just too quick to judge these days.”

If one trawls the sporting blogs and forums you’ll find references to Weidler and he has certainly created heat.  On “the hutch” (the hutch), a forum for South’s supporters, a post by “The Perp” states, “Danny Weidler, the gossip columnist from the Sun-Herald newspaper, is a lickspittle for the rich and famous.”  I’m not sure of what if any agenda Weidler had in writing the piece that got up Perp’s nose.  What is remarkable is that by any measure, “The Perp’s”  research and writing seems far more detailed and logical than that of Weidler.

Now I’m sure ‘Favours’ does his best.  I am equally sure it’s difficult to balance the demands of quality journalism with servicing sources however it appears that true balance is missing in his writing at times.

Look at this shameless tosh that Weidler recently dribbled lazily onto the SMH site about the Roosters going upmarket with their suits and oh dear how close am I going to the spittoon with this?

“Apsley Tailors are now the official tailors of the Roosters and will christen their new threads at their season launch. If you aren’t a suit fanatic you won’t know Apsley are also the official tailors for Fulham and West Ham.  Renowned tailor Arshad Mahmood did a couple of fittings with the the (‘Favours’ double) Roosters team and board, including Mark Bouris, Mark McInnes (doesn’t he shop at Myers now?), Mark Fennessy and Luke Ricketson.  Fennessy and a couple of the players, including Mitchell Pearce were so impressed they purchased extra suits.”

In past non-digital times Herald sporting journalists would have refused to allow a column inch of this blighted plop to ever appear in their paper.  ‘Favours’ would have been kicked onto Parramatta Road and told that he was more suited to driving a Tooth’s brewery horse across the road rather than driving the PR agenda for sporting spivs and ne’re-do-wells.

Scribbler or dribbler?  That was the question.  All I can say is pass the spittoon please.

Bone heads overdose in an orgy of self pity

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While I have some sympathy for the public outing by the NRL of six clubs for allegedly having some link to some shady bods in white coats I just think some of these coach characters could be pinged for laying the cream on a bit too thickly.  Coach of the Cowboys, Neil Henry claims the naming of the club is a “slight on the integrity of the club”.  Do I hear the name Ryan Tandy echoing down the hall of mirrors?

And as the Cowboy’s football manager, Peter “Putter” Parr negotiates with player manager, Sam “the Sham” Ayoub over the wonderful JT‘s contract, I wonder, post the indignation if Henry asks the question, in the quieter moments, is “irony” just another player supplement?

I have a sliver more sympathy for Journeyman John Fahey, whose thankless task is to the roam the world, business class, wagging his finger at a sporting bodies who have to be dragged screaming to the table to begin to get their anti-dping strategies up to scratch.  I also feel sorry for John because he was once a New Zealander as well as allegedly being a bit of a pro-lifer in the past.  Fahey is right in wondering why sports like rugby league have failed to have a regime of athlete biological passports in place for at least the past decade even if they struggled to spell it.

The reason is that most sports go softly softly until the dope hits the fan.  So what the ACC Report has achieved for rugby league is the establishment, under the artful eye of beak  Antony “Gough” Whitlam QC, of an Integrity Unit.

How long it would have taken Archie and the Jugheads at the ARLC to set up such a Unit? The percentage of budget the NRL spent on systematic prevention of doping and corruption over the last ten years gives an idea of how seriously all administrations took these issues until the ACC Report.  Until now a bit of Black Angus claret injected into the bumholes of boofheads was just an old fashioned way of having fun and perhaps getting a bit of an edge on the day.

But now if they get it right we can avoid going back to the black days of the lightly framed bulking up mysteriously in the “off” season under the instructions of chemists and charlatans who have as their only consideration a fat fee. Now we can hopefully see clubs think less about untried chemistry and more about the welfare of young blokes who just want to get onto the paddock and “go hard and straight”.

Poodle prefers Packer to “pal” and ends up in the Pound

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Despite Michael Clarke‘s (alias “Poodle”) recent success at the crease there is still something about him that just doesn’t sit right with some crusty cricket fans.  These recalcitrant fans are probably your more traditional types who can remember when beer was served in glasses at the SCG and players didn’t trot onto the hallowed turf with “She will rock you” blaring.  These fans also probably believe that T20 is chewing gum for errant red cordial-fuelled numbskulls.

Despite Clarke’s apparent media makeover and his often considered post-match commentary there appears to be a darker side.  Now part of the selection panel, players are obviously careful not to antagonise Poodle lest they end up in the pound.

Rumours abound over the alleged treatment by Michael Clarke of Mike Hussey‘s during “Mr Cricket’s” final days in the Australian camp.  Hussey apparently believed, rightly or wrongly, that he was in line to play a couple of the one day matches post his final test match due to being one of the “best available” players.  He didn’t.

There are rumoured reports that Clarke the peacemaker broached the rather strange concept with Mr Cricket of him doing a “lap of honour” before the ODI in Perth.  Apparently this incredibly creative suggestion was greeted with great derision from Hussey who also gave Poodle some instructions of how the concept should be self-stored.

Now Clarkie, not one to bare grudges asked Hussey on the day before the Test ended how he wanted to celebrate once the match was over.  Hussey replied, possibly channelling David Boone,that he simply wanted to pour endless golden throat-charmers down his gullet in the Australian dressing room, accompanied by his team mates and support staff.

Now from here on it gets a bit hazy but rumour suggests the following may have happened.  So I’ll pose the following questions:

Did Michael Clarke or others then organise a function on Jamie Packer’s tinnie on the evening of the last day’s play?

Did someone, when they found out that a lot of the players were going to channel Boonie with Mr Cricket, make the Packer tinnie trip an official Cricket Australia function thereby “forcing” players to attend?

I understand that a couple of players stayed with Mike Hussey (possibly Siddle and Lyon) in the shed as well as friends and support staff.

There are also unsubstantiated rumours of abusive phone calls to Hussey the next morning but I don’t think anyone would do that to a national icon like Mr Cricket because if that ever appeared in any tawdry sports tome that would tarnish the ethos of Australian cricket.

I stress these are only rumours however if we look back at the fallout over the Katich/Clarke incident there is a pattern of behaviour that is emerging.  It seems that Michael Clarke is coping at the crease but as a captain he is displaying all the churlishness of a child who is all too easily attracted to “bright shiny things”.

Backdoor Benny deals dud cards to duped fans

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A former first grade rugby league coach once said that “League is a simple game played by even simpler people”.

That some Tigers supporters actually believe in Benny Elias (alias Backdoor Benny) and his “mates” attempt to paint themselves as the saviours of the Balmain Club show that some of the supporters are even simpler than some of the former players.

The plan is of course for the development of the old Tiger’s Leagues Club site on Victoria Road, Rozelle into a multi-tower monstrosity that honours the gods of greed and stupidity.  Benny and the Board of Tigers want these poor duped sods to turn up at a proposed march to support Benny’s twin-towers on 2 March. Just how many actually turn up will tell us just how simple they actually are.

Speaking of simple.  Just how simple was it for the Balmain Tigers Board to make the decision to allow a current Board member, Benny Elias to sign a deal with it?

It has been well documented by Fairfax Media (‘thank you Kelly Burke”) that former Balmain player (I refrain from using words such as “legend”, “star” or “champion” as I may vomit), Benny Elias’s company Fordmont owned a 50% stake in Rozelle Village Pty Ltd – the company seeking to redevelop the troubled Rozelle site.  It appears that Elias didn’t disclose in the first instance that he would gain financially from the development.   Arhh just a small detail Benny – perhaps too many knocks on the melon in many a melee. He preferred to simply sell the “idea” to fans at club matches by trading on his faded past.

In a recent open letter, local Leichhardt Mayor, Darcy Byrne urged Tigers fans not to take part in a rally in support of the 24-storey proposed redevelopment at Rozelle.  Byrne said that he believes there was still no guarantee that the redeveloped site would include a permanent home for the NRL club.

This whole saga has been developing since 2009, when Elias, still a club Board member signed a heads of agreement with Board member David Trodden and others to take over the stalled development of the Club.  What a deal!  The agreement was to write-off the Club debts of over $23M in exchange for the Club’s property for the princely sum of $1.  Of course since that time the Club has paid many hundreds of thousands of dollars back in fees and interest and the Club is still close to $10M in debt.

Fabulous work by the Board it would seem.  The Tigers Board has or has had on it your standard rugby league mix of beaks, business and boofhead types plus the odd Olympian. So with such a solid crew what happened?   One would have thought any deal would have had a well-structured business plan as the basis of any negotiations.  You can be forgiven for thinking that it was obvious that a tendering process should have been undertaken to gain the very best deal for both local residents, the club and the fans.  However it appears that when the board thought business, they thought of “funny business” or to be more accurate “Benny business”.  Or was it that they were so impressed with Elias’s work as the chairman of Chameleon Mining that they thought this is the deal of the century?   As Elias said at that fatal member’s meeting, “The only option if the proposal is voted down is to close the leagues club doors.”  Yes particularly when no one else was asked to the party except Benny and his band.

As the stench continues to rise over this whole sorry barn dance, as links to the Obeid Clan and the other usual jokers around the money cesspool come to light the real question here is whether the Board of the Club is capable of impartially deciding what is best for the future of the Club and the local community or more concerned about preserving past glories and practices as well as seeing that their little mate, former Board Member Benny “does good”.

If the Board actually cared about their local Rozelle community and the West Tigers Rugby League tradition then they would stand up and say we made, in good faith a very bad business decision and now we urge all Tiger supporters to “simply” say “no” to these rough-headed flash rats with their gold teeth and chains.